A Curator Boyfriend is the Hottest Accessory for 2020

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With JLaw’s nuptials to art-world cutie Cooke Maroney behind her, and the recent announcement of Jenny Slate’s engagement to Ben Shattuck, a new boyfriend paradigm has emerged, inspiring us all to spend more time gallery hopping, and less time at the bars.

Unlike archetypes of boyfriends past — the Investment Banker, the Silicon Valley Tech Guy, the Artist/Freelance Videographer/Professional Plant Owner — the Curator is a breath of fresh air, presenting a bounty of attractive qualities that challenge existing dating-pool stereotypes.

From top left: Shia LaBeouf, Evan Spiegel, Josh Kushner, Cooke Maroney

The Curator is endowed with qualities that include, but are not limited to: the business savvy to navigate the high-stakes art market, enough sensitivity to appreciate the latest Marina Abromovic performance piece, and the occasional invite to party on a boat with Stavros Niarchos. They’re well-read, worldly and engaged in shaping critical dialogues of our times. The kind of guy you can discuss post-humanism with over pizza, who comments on the decor while ordering you a cab but letting you split the bill.

We’re about to enter a new decade, and being self-aware and socially conscious has never been more attractive. Someone who can point to a favorite Louise Bourgeois sculpture or be brought to tears looking at an El Anatsui assemblage is not only in touch with his emotions but also cares about wider social, geopolitical and cultural issues. A Curator may still ghost you, but it’s probably because he’s doing something legitimately interesting with his time, like scouting in the foothills of the Himalayas.

A Curator may still ghost you, but it’s probably because he’s doing something legitimately interesting with his time, like scouting in the foothills of the Himalayas.

Jenny Slate and fiancé Ben Shattuck

Yes, many guys who are not Curators also fit this description: Artists/Musicians, Architects, Professors, Writers, Furniture Makers, Doctors, Generally Cool Sensitive Dudes. But unlike the Curator, these careers have the potential to be solitary and isolating.

Heidi Klum and Vito Schnabel

A Curator enjoys engaging with people on a daily basis— resulting in a much more social (read: fun! well-adjusted!) dating prospect.

Ultimately, a Curator’s heightened attunement to art has a trickle down effect into what is the most differentiating and attractive quality of all— taste. Good taste is what most likely allowed a 21-year-old Vito Schnabel (the OG Cute Curator of the early ‘00s) to date the much older Demi Moore, later Heidi Klum, and most recently Amber Heard. Good taste doesn’t listen to Chris Brown, leave half-drunken six packs around your apartment or wear bad shoes. Sorry to that man, and every guy who does this.

Massimiliano Gioni
Alex Longsdale
Shanay Jhaveri

And ok, yeah – did we mention they’re just hot?

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